The Adventures of a Drummer and his Misanthropic Wife.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
Mr. and Mrs. Buzzkill
How Bobby and I appear to people:
So... Bobby and I are in Seattle for Casual Connect (not as lascivious as it sounds) - It's a place for people who make cheesey downloadable games to meet and ask if anyone has found a way to make money from these games.
Anyhoo, we were invited to an "invitation only" party for a company called GameHouse. We decided we'd go since we LOVE to be snooty and say we're going to an "invitation only" party.
This is when I was faced with the harsh reality that Bobby and I are kind of... well... really lame.
I mean, the club was all decked out in neon pink and blue lights in a dark, swanky lounge. It's all dark and sexxxy... i think. I mean, I guess that's the vibe they were going for. It could easily have been featured in "Sex and the City."
This club even had women sign posts! (Women - decked out in skin tight outfits who either couldn't or weren't allowed to speak to guests. They merely held up signs posts. As an alleged feminist, I'm offended at the idea of using women for props. As someone attending the Casual Gamers Conference- i loved the idea and believe there should be more of them... women who aren't allowed to speak, I mean.)
Anyway, there was a bar with free drinks - FREE DRINKS! And I'm not just talking about tap water. I mean BOOOOOZE! BOOZE FOR EVERYONE! The Booze flowed like... wine.
Here's the problem with this scenario - Bobby and I (and our deep Utah-Jello Loving-Fry Sauce Making-3.2% Alcoholic Beveraged - Mod Bod attired-roots) are completely awkward. Even though booze is offered - we get the rum and coke's sans rum. Oh, the coke has to be a diet coke.
Furthermore, we're both socially awkward. We can't mingle. At all. We still believe in "Stranger Danger" to its strictest definition.
Finally, the skinny, tall, women dancers (read: strippers) dressed in skin-tight, glittery space suits were supposed to go around to every table and talk with the patrons. Soon, a silver-suited, blonde-wigged dancer slithered towards our table - still somewhat sexy dancing to the techno beat.
I had to idea what to say to aforementioned space suit lady. What on earth could I have in common with this space oddity? So, I just blurted out "How long do you have to keep doing this?" Not knowing whether I was referring to hours or years - she gave me an icy glance and sashayed away.
Thus, Bobby and I stayed at the GameHouse party for a grand total of... ten minutes.
There was a strobe light though... that was pretty cool.
So... Bobby and I are in Seattle for Casual Connect (not as lascivious as it sounds) - It's a place for people who make cheesey downloadable games to meet and ask if anyone has found a way to make money from these games.
Anyhoo, we were invited to an "invitation only" party for a company called GameHouse. We decided we'd go since we LOVE to be snooty and say we're going to an "invitation only" party.
This is when I was faced with the harsh reality that Bobby and I are kind of... well... really lame.
I mean, the club was all decked out in neon pink and blue lights in a dark, swanky lounge. It's all dark and sexxxy... i think. I mean, I guess that's the vibe they were going for. It could easily have been featured in "Sex and the City."
This club even had women sign posts! (Women - decked out in skin tight outfits who either couldn't or weren't allowed to speak to guests. They merely held up signs posts. As an alleged feminist, I'm offended at the idea of using women for props. As someone attending the Casual Gamers Conference- i loved the idea and believe there should be more of them... women who aren't allowed to speak, I mean.)
Anyway, there was a bar with free drinks - FREE DRINKS! And I'm not just talking about tap water. I mean BOOOOOZE! BOOZE FOR EVERYONE! The Booze flowed like... wine.
Here's the problem with this scenario - Bobby and I (and our deep Utah-Jello Loving-Fry Sauce Making-3.2% Alcoholic Beveraged - Mod Bod attired-roots) are completely awkward. Even though booze is offered - we get the rum and coke's sans rum. Oh, the coke has to be a diet coke.
Furthermore, we're both socially awkward. We can't mingle. At all. We still believe in "Stranger Danger" to its strictest definition.
Finally, the skinny, tall, women dancers (read: strippers) dressed in skin-tight, glittery space suits were supposed to go around to every table and talk with the patrons. Soon, a silver-suited, blonde-wigged dancer slithered towards our table - still somewhat sexy dancing to the techno beat.
I had to idea what to say to aforementioned space suit lady. What on earth could I have in common with this space oddity? So, I just blurted out "How long do you have to keep doing this?" Not knowing whether I was referring to hours or years - she gave me an icy glance and sashayed away.
Thus, Bobby and I stayed at the GameHouse party for a grand total of... ten minutes.
There was a strobe light though... that was pretty cool.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Monday, July 11, 2011
Nobody Loves Me...
This is my favorite poem to recite to Bobby:
"Nobody loves me, nobody cares,
Nobody picks me peaches and pears.
Nobody offers me candy and Cokes,
Nobody listens and laughs at me jokes.
Nobody helps when I get into a fight,
Nobody does all my homework at night.
Nobody misses me,
Nobody cries,
Nobody thinks I'm a wonderful guy.
So, if you ask me who's my best friend, in a whiz,
I'll stand up and tell you NOBODY is!
But yesterday night I got quite a scare
I woke up and Nobody just WASN'T there!
I called out and reached for Nobody's hand,
In the darkness where Nobody usually stands,
Then I poked through the house, in each cranny and nook,
But I found SOMEBODY each place that I looked.
I seached till I'm tired, and now with the dawn,
There's no doubt about it-
NOBODY'S GONE!!"
— Shel Silverstein
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Bobby's Beautiful Wife
Bobby had a gig in Vegas about a month ago where he played with the "Dancing with the Stars" peeps. I was there too, I met Bobby's booking agent Sally, and we all had a good time.
Today, we Bobby received an email from Sally - Bobby's booking agent, whom I've met, several times since the Vegas gig - that featured a big group photo of everyone who performed.
The email read:
Bobby! Here's a group pic featuring an amazing picture with you and your beautiful wife.
Now... go ahead... take a look at the picture:
Did you see me? It's kind of a tricky "Where's Waldo?"...
Truth be told, I - the lawfully wedded wife - am nowhere in this photo.
The only logical conclusion is Bobby is some sort of bigamist who has another family in Vegas who i know nothing about. And the woman he has his arm around is his Bigamist Vegas wife.
However, my hat's off to Bobby - his Vegas wife is pretty smokin' hot.
Today, we Bobby received an email from Sally - Bobby's booking agent, whom I've met, several times since the Vegas gig - that featured a big group photo of everyone who performed.
The email read:
Bobby! Here's a group pic featuring an amazing picture with you and your beautiful wife.
Now... go ahead... take a look at the picture:
Did you see me? It's kind of a tricky "Where's Waldo?"...
Truth be told, I - the lawfully wedded wife - am nowhere in this photo.
The only logical conclusion is Bobby is some sort of bigamist who has another family in Vegas who i know nothing about. And the woman he has his arm around is his Bigamist Vegas wife.
However, my hat's off to Bobby - his Vegas wife is pretty smokin' hot.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Scenes from a Summer Holiday
Here are some photos from my July 4th Weekend...
Ka-BOB!
Bob and his fake Ray Bans.
Hint: I'm the person shrouded in black on the beautiful summer day.
These photos were stolen from Anna James' flickr site... (I hope it's all right that I stole 'em!... and posted your Flickr Site)
Ka-BOB!
Bob and his fake Ray Bans.
Hint: I'm the person shrouded in black on the beautiful summer day.
These photos were stolen from Anna James' flickr site... (I hope it's all right that I stole 'em!... and posted your Flickr Site)
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