The reason why I can never have children is because I find plants too demanding.
Bobby is quickly finding out that my "Domestic Goddess" abilities I was so vociferous about during our courtship may have just of been a bill of goods.
When Bobby and I moved into our apartment at the senior center, I asked Bobby if we could buy a celebratory plant that I could take care of... my VERY FIRST PLANT!!!
Bobby obliged and we bought this beauty:
Pretty Purple Pansies touched with Yellow Gold!
You know, put it outside and water it--at least once a week.
Well....Here's the same plant, a month later:
Having a plantz iz HARD!!!
Obviously, I didn't do so great this first round. This plant died of SEVERE neglect. Bobby's a little horrified of how quickly I lost interest in my first/very own plant. Lord knows what I'd do to a kid.
I mean, Bobby's basically a single parent already with regard to me. Maybe I haven't "matured" as gracefully as a twenty-five year old should have by now. For example, for dinner I fixed us a fabulous meal of Fruity Pebbles with a side of TinkerBell Fruit Snacks (DA BEST!). (In fact, I have restructured the food pyramid so "high fructose corn syrup" was the bottom/largest tier)
As for my housekeeping ability? Well, you know that awful, horrible, no good, very bad roommate you had in college. The one who was malodorous, into chicanery, ultimately nefarious**--I'm right here!!!! Yup, and I married this great guy named Bobby... and I'm just as bad as I was in college!
Oh, and let's not forget the little "ant" problem.
Domestically Disabled, indeed!
**But that roommate DID study for the GRE!!!
On the upside, if they were pansies they wouldn't have lasted the winter anyway and August is a difficult month for all plants. Hopefully you have the added excuse of the plant being on the south or west side of your building. :)
ReplyDeleteYou just need something hardier. Try a cactus next time, they almost never need to be watered.
Let's just say that I kill plants. I'm no good. I also can't cook. I'm sure you're a Domestic Goddess is your way. We all are... right?
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